I'm Already There
by Softrock-showtunesgirlscout22
Summary: Even though Sam is forced to go undercover to protect his family, Andy knows he's always there with them. POSY WINTER COLD.


**I'm already there**

**Even though Sam is forced to go undercover to protect his family, Andy knows he's always there with them.**

They had been partners in everything, since the first day on the job when she had arrested him believing he was a drug smuggler. Since day one they had loved and hated each other, for one reason or another, they constantly argued, but they were there when it mattered.

She had been waiting for that call for more than two days; she knew something was wrong; she just didn't want to believe it. He had gone undercover once more, in spite of the fact that this time he had so much to lose, but it had been a necessary risk, Frank had said, Sam was the only one who could stop this gang from introducing more drug to the city, just Sam, he had been chosen and he had agreed because he needed this people out of his life forever so his family would be safe. She still remembered the night he had told her.

_He had come home from work just in time for dinner. The boys were already bathed; they ran towards him in a heartbeat._

"_Daddy!" Milo kissed his cheek "mommy made pasta!" _

"_That's so cool! Sam said picking them up "and she didn't burn it did she?" The boys smiled_

"_No I didn't!" she said indignantly "how dare you say that!" _

"_You did burn it last time" Milo said. _

"_What side are you on?" she beamed at him "that's nice Milo Samuel Swarek" he hated when she used his full name. Sam put both boys back on their respective chairs and went to kiss his wife "why are you always so mean?" She asked. Sam just kissed her. He loved the effect he had on her _

"_I'm sorry, I'm just messing with you, I'm sure dinner is great" He said breaking the kiss "isn't it boys?" the two of them nodded. Sam took a seat next to Milo "Where's AJ?" he had noticed a little person missing on the table._

"_She's sleeping, I think she might have a cold or something" Andy said placing a plate in front of him, "can you take her to the doctor after dropping Milo off school tomorrow? I have an early shift" _

"_Sure" Sam said spicing his pasta with cheese "I have the morning off, so guess that won't have to go to daycare tomorrow?" Charlie grinned. "That's right; you and I are going to run errands for mommy"_

"_What would I do without you?" Andy said wrapping her arms around his neck. Sam kissed her lips_

_After they were done with dinner, they tucked the boys into bed _

"_Good night buddy" Sam kissed Milo's forehead _

"_Love you daddy" Milo said before closing his eyes. "Love you right back" He said. _

"_Sleep tight baby" Andy tucked Charlie in "I love you"_

"_Andy" Sam's voice was quiet as they got ready for bed "I need to talk to you about something" Andy's stomach twirled. Had something happened at work? Was someone hurt? He couldn't possibly have waited so long to tell her, right?_

"_I got called into Frank's office today" He said sadly "They want me to do an op" _

"_What kind of op?" Andy asked sitting on the bed next to him "Please don't tell me is about what I am thinking" she begged. He turned his face away. "You said you were done Sam" _

"_I was" He said calmly "I am, they just need my help with this one" _

"_And how long is it going to be before they ask you to do another one, five more years?" She was starting to get pumped. She didn't want to be mad at him, but this wasn't just about them anymore._

"_Andy" Sam said slowly "I haven't given my answer; I told Frank I had to tell you first" _

"_But we both know what you are going to do" she said huskily "Let's not play dumb here Sam, Guns are Gangs is you, I mean you are the boss" She didn't say anything else. _

_**He called her on the road from a lonely cold hotel room**_

_**Just to hear her say, "I love you" one more time**_

_**But when he heard the sound**_

_**Of the kids laughin' in the background**_

_**He had to wipe away a tear from his eye**_

_**A little voice came on the phone**_

_**Said, "Daddy when you comin' home?"**_

_**He said the first thing that came to his mind**_

This had been over a month ago. He would call her every other day. But five days had passed since he had last called and she feared the worse. Then she heard it

"Hey" He said drowsily "Sorry, I haven't been able to call, I had been a little out of reach, how is everything over there?" She sighed in relief; she was holding AJ while they sat on their bed, were the sheets still smelled of him. "Andy?"

"I've missed you" She glanced at her baby girl "we all do"

"You have no idea, I miss you guys too" The boys had just arrived, they jumped to the bed, curious eyes looking deeply at her "Are they sleeping?" Andy smiled.

"What do you think? They are your kids after all" she bit her lower lip "I dreamed about you last night" She could imagine his dimples quickly appeared "I didn't want to wake up"

"Really?" He asked playfully "was I using a towel?" She grinned

"Not exactly" She said in quiet voice. The kids gave her curious glances

"It's almost over" Sam said firmly "I promise"

She could feel her heart ache "The boys want to talk to you"

"Okay, put it on speaker" He said. He could actually hear the kids argue in the back "and McNally?"

"Yeah?" She said rolling her eyes

"I love you". He was on speaker now

"Hi daddy!" 5 year old Milo said "When are you coming home?"

Sam's throat was dry "Pretty soon buddy, don't worry, I bet you have been taking really good care of mommy haven't you?"

"I am" Milo said proudly, leaning closer to the speaker

"Me too" Charlie pointed out, he was only 2 but that was enough

"You keep it up boys" Sam said, his voice breaking "I'm so proud of you"

"We love you!" Milo said "and AJ too!"

Sam smiled. Tears at the back of his eyes "I love you too, give mommy a lot of kisses for me okay?" The boys nodded instantly. Andy put the phone back to normal

"Lean it closer to AJ" He said, she did as she was told. The 6 month old baby stared at the phone closely "Hey there baby girl, its daddy, be good okay and don't grow up too fast, can you do that for me?" Andy was now crying "I love you"

"We all love you more" Andy said "come home soon"

_**I'm already there**_

_**Take a look around**_

_**I'm the sunshine in your hair**_

_**I'm the shadow on the ground**_

"So how is it go_ing?_ Traci asked the next day at work. She had brought AJ with her and she was thrilled about the attention "Are you okay?"

"I guess, it's not like I dream about him every night" she said sadly "I just want him home Trace, he's missing so much"

"He'll be home before you know it" Tracy said reassuringly "You'll see". If this was true then why did she feel like she was dying inside?

_**I'm the whisper in the wind**_

_**I'm your imaginary friend**_

_**And I know, I'm in your prayers**_

_**Oh I'm already there**_

"You boys play nice" Andy said later that day at the park. She sat on a bench with a little stroller by the side "watch your brother okay baby?" Milo nodded and hurried after his brother. Andy leaned her head back. The boys played nearby. This was Milo's favorite place; he loved the park so much it was hard to take him back home

"Hey Andy" Clarissa, a friend from the park said sitting next to her "I haven't seen you around in a while" that had been because she had been in such depression she had decided to not come to where she knew she would remember Sam's laughter.

"Well I don't know" she said causally "Sam's out of town so"

"It's kind of overwhelming?" clarrissa finished. She had no idea. "When is he coming back?"

"I don't know". Clarissa gave her a puzzled look "you never know"

"Mommy!" Milo came running towards her. She looked for Charlie who was playing by the sand box "I want to go"

"What?" Andy glanced to her friend "But you love the park"

"I want daddy" Milo said firmly "Can daddy come home now?"

Her heart sank. Milo's eyes pierced her soul "He can't. Not yet"

"But I want him now!" Milo burst out. His eyes were teary. Andy kneeled to his level and pulled him into a hug "I want daddy back" he whispered in her neck. She whipped the tears from his eyes. "Me too"

"The park was a disaster" Andy told Traci "I don't know what to do"

"I hear you" She said sipping her coffee "what about Charlie?"

"He's too young, he knows something is going on, but I'm more worried about Milo" Andy said frustrated "I want him to be okay, but he just needs him so much". And she needed him too. So much it hurt.

_**She got back on the phone**_

_**Said, "I really miss you darlin'"**_

_**"Don't worry about the kids they'll be alright**_

_**Wish I was in your arms, lyin' right there beside you"**_

_**"But I know that I'll be in your dreams tonight**_

_**And I'll gently kiss your lips**_

_**Touch you with my fingertips**_

_**So turn out the light and close your eyes"**_

Since she had become a mother, she was used to overthink everything more than usual. Then she wouldn't think. It hurt to think of him being gone.

"Hey" She got another call later that week "I miss you"

"Me too, you have no idea how much" she said quietly "I need you now"

"I think I have a pretty good idea" Sam said sadly "I'm sorry about all this Andy, I don't think I can do this anymore, I wanted out since the moment I came here, do you know I sleep with tree pillows around me and Charlie's stuffed dog?" Andy smiled "not very masculine, but hey"

"I shouldn't have let you go" Andy said sternly "I was so stupid and so were you"

"I know" He said. She could picture his dark eyes looking at her "we tend to do a lot of stupid things, don't we?"

"Yes we do" She said. Then she cuddled in bed in silence. She just wanted him to hold her "I love you"

"I love you too" He said "I wish I could kiss you right now"

"I wish that too" she closed her eyes shot.

_**I'm already there**_

_**Don't make a sound**_

_**I'm the beat in your heart**_

_**I'm the moonlight shinin' down **_

The days went by and seemed like weeks. She spent her time between her job and the kids as to not think about him. But it wasn't enough, it was just too much pressure for her to handle. Why had she let him go?

"Mommy!" Charlie screamed frantically from the room. She was already falling sleep

"Hey" she reached his room quickly "what's going on?"

"He had a bad dream" Milo pointed out. Andy smiled and picked Charlie up from bed, cradling closer to her chest "Daddy knows how to make bad dreams go away" Andy felt hurt. She also knew how too.

"Well, I think I know some tricks too" She sat on Milo's bed. "Do you know what grandpa used to do when I had a bad dream?" Milo waved his head. Charlie waited expectantly. "He used to tell me a story, happy one so I would smile and not be afraid anymore and then he stayed with me until I was asleep again"

"Tell us!" Milo said excitedly "Tell us one mommy!"

"Okay, let me think" She bit her lip. Charlie's eyes sparkled in the shadow of the night light "I know" She told them of the days in the Academy when she felt like it was the first day of school every day and how she had become best friends with Traci, Dov and Chris… and later, Gail. The boys listened closely. She finished on the first day she had met Sam and couldn't help but smile. She had to admit he was pretty badass as a drug smuggler. The kids fell asleep in a bit. She placed Charlie back on his bed and settled next to Milo, running her fingers through his thick black hair. Now was the time she wished Sam was here.

_**I'm the whisper in the wind**_

_**And I'll be there 'til the end**_

_**Can you feel the love that we share?**_

_**Oh I'm already there**_

_**We may be a thousand miles apart**_

_**But I'll be with you wherever you are**_

A squad car parked in front of the school gate. Milo waited to see if it was Sam, he usually picked him up in the truck, but maybe he had come home and back to work in a matter of hours. He broke into a run and then realized it was Dov and Andy.

"Hey baby" Andy said taking the school bag from him "How was school?"

"Hi big guy" Dov said coolly

"Okay" He said. They didn't have a kids chair on the squad car so Andy placed him safety on the back "I made you a drawing"

"You did?" Andy turned to face him "that's great!"

"Uncle Dov?" Milo asked "where is Hannah?" The concept of seeing her cheered him up. She was always good at making games

"She's spending the afternoon with a friend" Dov said simply. Oh no, spending the afternoon at the station meant he would have to listen to Jerry and Oliver argue about who would watch him and his siblings. When they got there, Charlie and AJ were already there. His brother grinned excitedly at him. AJ remained sleeping at Jerry's office. He made his way to San's office, his brother trailed behind him. The place remained untouched since Sam had left. He had a TV and some movies for when the kids stayed there, not to mention a stash of treats and juice. Andy walked in; both boys were already settled in the couch. She sat between them "Hey guys, I got to go, but Jerry is going to be checking on you, okay?" They both nodded. A movie was playing when she left. She had to get out of there. The place smelled of him. It was too much

When her shift was over that night, she found the boys cuddled against each other on the couch.

"Need help?" Oliver smiled at her. She smiled back. She picked Charlie up while Oliver took Milo and AJ. It had been amazing the way everyone supported her, specially her friends, even Noelle and Frank were there if she needed, but she often went overthinking and maybe, just maybe, they were sorry for her.

_**I'm already there **_

_**Take a look around**_

_**I'm the sunshine in your hair**_

_**I'm the shadow on the ground**_

Sam walked into the house. He hadn't noticed the truck wasn't outside. It was quiet and empty. Odd since it was almost dinner time. He had hoped to surprise Andy and the kids, but the only one that was there to welcome him was Milo's dog, Bass, who waved his tail excitedly "Hey B, where is everybody?" The dog barked playfully. He scratched the back on his ear. Where were they?

_**I'm the whisper in the wind**_

_**And I'll be there 'til the end**_

_**Can you feel the love that we share?**_

_**Oh I'm already there**_

_**Oh I'm already there**_

Andy opened the door slowly, balancing AJ in one arm. Milo and Charlie stood behind "It's almost time for your bath" she told the boys who groaned "you can watch TV while I put your sister to bed, then it's your time"

"But mommy!" Milo complained. The kitchen was the same as she had left it. Bass was sitting there waiting "15 minutes?" Milo bargained "20?"

"Fine, but not more" she said. She hadn't realized he was sitting there a few feet away in the darkness

"You could at least give them 30 minutes" she heard a voice say "Need any help?"

"Daddy!" Milo and Charlie went to hug him "I've missed you daddy!"

"Missed you too, look at you, you are huge!" Sam said looking at his wife who hadn't processed yet the fact that he was back "what have you been eating?"

"Sam…" She whispered. He walked to her, Charlie in his arms and Milo clutched to his leg "it's you"

"Yeah, I told you, you couldn't get rid of me that easily McNally" He touched her cheek gently. AJ looked curiously at him. He leaned to kiss his wife; the kiss was slow, enjoying every taste and moment. She was crying now.

"You are back" she said sobbing. He offered her a smile. AJ was already demanding his attention. He leaned to kiss her cheek gently

"Sorry it took me so long" He said. He felt Charlie's head on his chest "I was crazy for going in the first place" He grabbed his little's girl's hand. AJ smiled at him. She wanted him to shut up

"Sam" She said simply "Shut up" He smiled and brushed his nose against hers "Shut up" then he kissed her again. He was home. All was alright.

**There you have it! I didn't know how to end it, I hope you like it! Please review!**


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